Holy shit I'm a loser!

One of the cats (the fat one, of course) comes in the room at 8:30 meowing in my face because it has no food. We had to put her on a diet because she's so fat, so she gets fed on a regimen now, but the regimen doesn't account for night time or when we just forget to feed them. Whoopsie.

Little of this, little of that...

Played 14 tournaments today. Just slipped into the money in 3 of them for a combined prize of about $12. Plus $2 in bounties from the knockout tournaments. Took 54th place out of 522 players

EPIC FAIL!!!

Registered late for a $5 tournament with a $2500 guaranteed prize pool. I remember planning on playing this particular tournament yesterday, but then forgot, then remembered again.

So I get in and the first hand I see is AK of spades.

Break day

Took a few hours off playing today to do some of the Full Tilt Poker Academy lessons in the hopes that some of this information about how to do it the right way might make me a slightly less unprofitable poker player.

Ambitious, I know...

Then played some very low limit NLH cash, and spent a couple of hours playing on a $.10/$.20 mixed limit 7 game table, just to break up the monotony of losing at Hold 'em.

Down about $8 to $316.38.

18 hours is too long...

Ok bedtime. Slung some quarters around the limit tables for a profit. $324.91 is the number.

I guess today was my day

Just took down a 90 player $3 bounty tournament for a first prize of $72. Not sure what my bounty total was but I think it was around 12 or 13 players for $6 or $6.50. I'm ruining the whole point of this blog in one day. I'm supposed to be a loser. Not this day I tell you, not this day. Probably tomorrow, though.

Bankroll  = $311.06

oh Jesus Christ.....

Gave girl $25 so she would shut the hell up at me...

Bankroll = 242.96

I'm Back!!!

Just a brief segment of joy before the next inevitable string of disappointment.

I took first from a field of 1003 it a $1 NLHE tournament on full tilt for a cash of $225.67. At least now I have something to lose. That's a good thing right? Having something to lose?

The Usual...

Aces up with nut flush draw on flop +  the bubble + me shoving against big stacked opponent = big stacked opponent hits his set on turn.

This is the way of my world. I want to reach through the internet and strangle a bitch!

Failings lead to bankroll of $44.47.

Freeroll day

Ridiculous fields today. Playing the MiniFTOPS Warm Up, a field of 50,000 players competing for a prize pool of $50,000. $2400 to first place. 5 minute blinds, 1500 stacks. Should be a total donkfest,

The Luck Continues

I don't know how, but I placed 4th in a 45 player $1 sit and go for $4.50. That was pretty neat. And these kids keep throwing dimes at me, so I pick them up. They obviously don't need them like I do. I cherish each and every one.

Ended the session at $48.51. Yay.

Can't sleep

In a fit insomnia and mild illness of unknown nature, I make a mad dash for the next $10 release of my holiday bonus from Full Tilt. The fortune continues as the roll is now again over $40.

Lucky day!

Well, The Men Who Stare at Goats sucked pretty bad. Anyway...

Lucked out and had every flop hit me in the micro limit game and ended up at a grateful $31.52. I'd like to say that I played well, but it just wasn't the case.

Slow day

Won't be playing much poker today. It's girl's b-day, and we're going to see The Men Who Stare at Goats and get some grub.

No more poker today

Played better than usual in a dollar rebuy tournament. Donked out about 90th out of about 300. Only had to rebuy twice and add on once.

Sitting somewhere around $26

Again with the losing

Played a couple more $1 tournaments in hopes of becoming independently wealthy. To no avail. Even went out on the first hand in one of them.

Sitting at $30.08 :-(

Not again!

In middle position, I look down at AK of spades and raise to 1800, three times the big blind. The big blind just calls. I'm a little short stacked, about 27K. The flop comes and between a 7 and a 2 lies that beautiful ace of clubs, so I shove it...

To be a better poker player....

I think I've identified a hole in my game. Earlier I found myself searching google images of Morena Baccarin, you know, Anna, the leader of the reptilian visitors in the TV show "V". She's so frickin' HOT!!!

Anyway, I was thinking maybe if I didn't do that, I would be a better poker player.

...so HOT!!!

STUPID SUCKOUT BITCHES!!!

To turn two pairs with QT offsuit only to raise all in and have a J fall on the river. AK good all day...

Nice hand douchebag, wherever you are.

No $26 tournament token for me today. Hopefully I'll fare better in the daily dollar rebuy. Luckily, you're allowed to buy into that game with full tilt points. My only hope...

Up a little bit

$33.70...

Came up a little bit today while playing 5/10 cent waiting for the daily dollar rebuy tournament and a 50 FTP tournament token game. I hope I don't do anything stupid and get lucky as hell. That's all I can do...

Got there

Only had to lose about a buck fitty to get that $10. Up to $30.89. Gonna try some dollar donkathons tomorrow. Hopefully I can fold into the money.

Almost there....

Only $2.33 left til the next bonus release....

God I hope I can make it. If I could only make that next $10, I might be able to catch up.

God, I suck...

$22.29. That's all that's left.

In July of this year, I deposited $200 on Full Tilt Poker in hopes of becoming a winner. I guess it was just not meant to be. Today, I find myself grinding dimes on the micro-limit tables. Chasing. Trying to catch up somehow by reaching the next $10 increment of the holiday bonus offer. Do you know how long it takes to pay enough rake to make the requirement for that next payout at $.05/$.10 limit poker? About THREE DAYS!!!

And yet I continue. I can't stop. I'm a hopeless degenerate.