Lucky day!

Well, The Men Who Stare at Goats sucked pretty bad. Anyway...

Lucked out and had every flop hit me in the micro limit game and ended up at a grateful $31.52. I'd like to say that I played well, but it just wasn't the case.
The dimes just came my way I guess. Luckily, at what I am certain was the pinnacle of my win before a soul sucking plummeting spiral to halving my bankroll, my good friend De called on the phone, and I don't play when I'm on the phone. Anymore. Thanks De.

But this is how pathetic I really am as a poker player. I entered into a freeroll of about 8700 players. The top 250 players were to be entered into a freeroll. A FREEROLL!!! I played a freeroll TO GET INTO A FREEROLL!!!!

And wouldn't you know it, I made it. I was in 121st place when we hit the non-money. Now I get to play in a FREEROLL with THIRTY THOUSAND PLAYERS. First prize for this freeroll is $100. Disgusting.

I would like to say that my skill at playing the game of poker got me there, but the truth is, for the first two hours, this huge stack just folded to every donk continuation bet I threw at him. We essentially traded stacks over that period of time. Then, I ended up with three stacks with absent players directly to my left, so I was able to steal their bleeding blinds to the tune of about 6K over the next hour of the tournament.

I made it, but I almost didn't. I did have to go and do something stupid, of course. At the last table I was seated, two big stacks got into it, and one was left with about 19K, nearly 2K less than my own stack. The very next hand, I'm under the gun with JJ, so I just limp. At this point, there's only about 310 players left in the game, blinds are 800 and 1600 with some antes.

The once big stack RAISES ALL IN!!!

I'm wondering if he's tilting, or doing the 'I'm on tilt' raise with AQ or AK, possibly QQ or something better than JJ. Immediately I think to myself, "Anything's better than JJ here." 72o is better than JJ here, considering that if I just let it go, I can easily fold into the NON-MONEY!!! And so what do I do, against the will of my entire inner being and all resonance of the logic I just wisely and prudently spewed silently to myself?

Yeah, of course I call. This is why I am a horrible poker player. I bluff in the worst possible spots, and I call when I have every good reason not to. That's me. I am a poker loser.

You already know the outcome, because as I said before, I made it. After I make what can go down in history as one of the top ten stooooopidest calls I've ever made in the 6 years that I've been playing this game, he shows 8Th. Ok, I've got the over pair to his hand now. Good. Maybe it wasn't such a bad call after all. Well of course it was. On the flop is a 10, and a heart, the turn is a heart. Now he's got 14 outs to beat me. I think that's right.... Yeah 14. I'm shitting in my pants. I'm lying in the corner of my mind in the fetal position, sucking my thumb thinking loudly, "OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN. NOT THE RIVER AGAIN!!!!!!

The river falls a harmless four of clubs, and I take down the pot. I breathe a sigh of relief as my girlfriend just says to me, "That was stupid..."